Step parenting has always been painted in a negative way, even in the fairy tale stories we used to listen when we were little, where the step parent used to hate and harm their step children, and often wanted them dead. But those were only stories very different from reality, where a step parent can be as loving and caring as a natural parent. If you are in the situation of forming a blended family, find out how to be a good step parent and gain the love of your step children.
Discuss with your partner
Remember that your partner is the natural parent of the child and they will have the final word regarding the child’s education. However, this does not mean you can not have rights and responsibilities, therefore, you should discuss with your partner about boundaries regarding your involvement in the child’s raising and education. Try not to take responsibilities that do not concern you, nor be disinterested, but find a way to balance things. Regularly communicate your partner the problems regarding the small one to avoid gathering resentments and never let those problems come between you as a couple.
Let the child assimilate the idea of having a step parent
The child needs time to assimilate the new situation and understand that from now on, you will be their parent. If you want to know how to be a good step parent, put yourself in the child’s position and think how hard it would be for you to understand that a new person will take one of your parent’s place in the house. It is very important to let the child know that you will only fill the place in the house and that you do not want to take their natural parents’ place in their hearts, but you are interested in getting your own place in there.
Make friends with the stepchild
A great step in learning how to be a good step parent is becoming a friend of the stepchild, creating a connection with them, letting them know you are not an enemy who wants to steal their natural parent. However, this does not mean you have to cover their mischief from your partner, as it will turn you into an accomplice rather than a friend, and you might create problems with your partner. Explain the child that your purpose is not to hide their mistakes, but to help them repair the wrong and to raise them well. Show your authority in a smooth way that will help the child see you as a good person, not the villain who is trying to make them fight with their natural parent. A great tip is to let the child call you by your name instead of forcing them to call you “mom” or “dad”, this way the child will feel closer to you.